If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
