dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
