I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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