Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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