Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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