this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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