Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize