She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
