smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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