But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
