Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
