The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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