I want to stick my p in your. b.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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