i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
