wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize