He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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