I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
