how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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