We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
