I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
