she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
