I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
