Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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