I want to stick my p in your. b.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I fill condoms, not promises.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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