Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
