Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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