So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
