drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
