Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
