I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
