we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize