I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
