No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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