You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
do herpes really smell.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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