New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
