I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
