May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Never joke about your clitoris.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
