Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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