At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
