OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
