Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
