Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
