i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize