ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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