when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
