So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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