i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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