I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
