oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
