Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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