This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
