if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize