A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
