I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
