I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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