Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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