the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
