I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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