i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
