mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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