It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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