I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
