I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
