Christians are straight up FREAKS
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
