The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
my shit smells like andre
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
