So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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