Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
