your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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