I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
